What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

What was Easter day like for you as a child?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why can’t the British eat or drink anything unless they place a table cloth on the table first?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do liberals think same-sex marriage is alright? The Bible makes it very clear that it's not alright to be gay, why can't liberals understand that?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What type of sex do women prefer, oral, anal, or vaginal?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How would you describe modern day Russian society, beyond just politics?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why do some people admire Latin American cultures but not want to be from or live in those countries?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why are breasts attractive?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Are rich people harder workers than poor people as a whole?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why does it matter so much to atheists that God doesn't exist?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Can you show pictures of your penis, big or small?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Is TikTok a creation of the porn industry? To make porn more normalized and accepted? So the porn industry doesn’t lose customers?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!